International Byron Society

Has anyone read 'Lord Byron's Family' by Malcolm Elwin? I am a chapter in and I am finding myself loathing Annabella with a passion. I am certain I am the victim of extreme authorial bias so I was wondering what other people thought. Or was she really that bad..........

Mary

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Mary

Hi Mary, hope you had a good Christmas and New Year. I haven't read the work by Elwin that you refer to, but my library does have a copy of 'Lord Byron's Wife' by the same author which I shall read. Apparently it caused such a controversy when it was first published, that the Times Literary Supplement had to write an editorial stating that they would not be publishing any more letters relating to it. The controversy rages to this day, with the Annabella camp claiming one thing and the Byron camp claiming another, as we have seen on this site.

I don't believe any marriage, including Charles and Diana, has had more books and articles written about it than Byron's marriage to Annabella. What's even more amazing is that they were only married for about a year.

If I could recommend 'The Kindness Of Sisters' by David Crane; it's useful for it's pyscholigical (have I spelled that correctly?) insight into Annabella - not the world's most pleasant woman.

Keep in touch...bye for now...

Will.

Hi William,

Nice relaxing Christmas - Hope yours was good. I have read Lord Byron's wife too, and The Kindness of Sisters - which is a very good book. I agree with your assessment - it is incredible that a marriage which lasted such a short time has generated so much debate.

I doubt there will ever be agreement on it, and although I would find it hard to discard my bias towards Byron, I would like to think my views are fairly objective - The marriage should never have taken place (the letters to and from Byron and Annabella are intriguing) - she was never ever going to "reform" him (but can we blame her for thinking she could?), and although there is little doubt he behaved badly, I am convinced by the letters immediately after Annabella left (from both parties) that Byron was genuinely stunned by her departure, suggesting that subsequent accounts of his behaviour were wildly exaggerated. Hope you are well,

Mary

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Mary

As it is related to the topic - I was reading Byron's letters this morning. His first mention of Annabella:

"I have no desire to be better acquainted with Miss Milbank, she is too good for a falen spirit to know or wish to know, &I should like her more if she was less perfect."

Says it all really.

Mary

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Mary

It was a serious error of judgement on both parts - but she was young, arrogant and naive - he was young, arrogant and self-destructive. But the depth of nastiness it revealed in him came as a shock, to him at least. He wrote it up in a way in Manfred but was basically in denial over it for the rest of his life.

He threw her out. She would never have walked out on him if he hadn't told her to.

Peter Cochran.

Dear Peter,

I was very interested by your last comment. It had never occured to me that he might have told her to leave. It would certainly explain much of the letters immediately after the period.

Mary

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Mary

He was cunnng, and made it look as if leaving was her initiative - but she would have stayed with him until he killed her. She left in obedience, as a good wife.

Peter Cochran.

When I read about her I get the sense that she just would not have admitted she made a mistake in marrying him. I always think back to that first remark, "I would like her more if she was a little less perfect", and of course Byron's characterisation of her in Don Juan:

In short, she was a walking calculation,
Miss Edgeworth's novels stepping from their covers...
...
Morality's prim personification,
In which not Envy's self a flaw discovers;
To others' share let 'female errors fall,'
For she had not even one - the worst of all.

I imagine Byron was extremely difficult to live with but I don't think it could have been easy living with someone like Annabella - who must surely have grated on his nerves.

Mary

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Mary